http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/ BREATHE THIS Sat, 15 Apr 2006 08:30:03 PDT http://www.blogdrive.com Copyright 2006. http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/archive/150.html Sat, 15 Apr 2006 16:23:53 GMT on my mind there are words, work, people, decisions... i am feeling more at peace with my craziness than i have in a very long time. i am looking forward to the future and getting better at accepting the past and just letting go... tonight i breathe alone for the first time in some time. i wish it wasn't this hard, but it's probably for the best. i wish that i could cry more and care less. i wish away this anxiety that makes me feel like everything is going to fall apart soon. i let myself feel so elated by current events and when she's not with me, i don't feel her calm. i am a little... (more) http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/comments?id=150 http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/archive/149.html Fri, 24 Mar 2006 00:11:46 GMT It has been too long. I had forgotten about this space until I was reminded by a friend that I thought was lost to me. Somehow, she found me and here I am. Have been living in JENN mode lately (capital letters, all circuits busy, caffeine buzzed and feeling high), mostly due to a new "friendship" with an amazing woman. She is a breath of fresh air and the first completely REAL person I've met in a long while. It's nice to have no expectations/obligations dictating the course of a friendship/relationship. As I get to know her, the philosophy reads "it is what it is" and there's no need to... (more) http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/comments?id=149 http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/archive/148.html Thu, 02 Dec 2004 01:39:37 GMT I've been a long time coming... Well, I've been away a long time again. Part of the inconvenience of not having my own computer system, I suppose. I am putting forth an effort, pushing my creativity into a contrived creative spell, embarking on a journey of self. I don't know what right I have to do this, but I hope in the end, the results will justify themselves. I know that I am capable of writing, taking pen and ink to paper to unfold scenes, stories, characters. I don't know if I am capable of defining them in a way that is interesting and still has a cohesive presence. When I... (more) http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/comments?id=148 http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/archive/147.html Wed, 20 Oct 2004 04:56:01 GMT I am finding myself sitting here, waiting for something to happen, like the longer I pause, the clearer the path will become. I am building my tomorrow so carefully, searching every detail before adding the tinniest piece. By the time I finish, I will have run out of time. I am building my life tentatively, trying not to disturb the ground I build on. I use broken pins and rusted nails, scrounging the ground I walk on, barefoot so I can keep contact with my surroundings on some plane. I am feeling really lost right now. I know where I want to be, but I'm finding it really hard to... (more) http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/comments?id=147 http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/archive/146.html Sat, 02 Oct 2004 20:12:17 GMT It has been a while since I wrote. I know this because my dreams are building up and starting to surround me with strange images. looking for the proper outlet that they're used to having. I spend my nights in a strange dreamworld that repeats itself with every dreaming, in such vivid detail that I know every step of the earth that I walk in it. If I were a better artist, I would paint the landscape for you, in clear detail. I know every path, every building, every staircase, every window as if I have lived there for centuries. Lying in my bed at the moment, there is a beautiful woman.... (more) http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/comments?id=146 http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/archive/145.html Wed, 04 Aug 2004 00:12:01 GMT Tomorrow is a problem I have to face. Never is a promise that I can't afford to keep. I move softly through your atmosphere, barely disturbing the particles as I pass. Enough that you know I'm there, so little that you will not recognize it. Again, I go into hiding. I will wait for you to come to me. I will wait... http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/comments?id=145 http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/archive/144.html Fri, 30 Jul 2004 18:39:15 GMT "One Boy, one boy for sale- he's going cheap, only a thousand guineas..." -Melissa Ferrick Cory's date auction was an interesting event. Boys in leather, girls stripping, offering services of the practical and obscure to the regular happy hour crowd at a men's bar downtown. Not the best atmosphere for the offering up of a girly girl that no one believes is queer. Sexuality and Gender 101 will teach us that gender and sexuality are part biological, part personal choice and part political and social. We are taught (and some of us even believe) that these lines can be crossed and... (more) http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/comments?id=144 http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/archive/143.html Mon, 12 Jul 2004 16:10:59 GMT It was good to talk last night, like the world was laid out before us and anything could happen. I like you like that, full of ambition and attitude. Lets do it- lets be fabulous- wealthy and important with a million kids. Lets get married in Jamaica and have a house on the ocean. Lets do everything that no one thinks we ever will and do it loudly and proudly just to spite them and do it together in the sunlight and the rain, for the world to watch us. Anyway, it was fun to think about. Maybe we'll actually do it someday... somehow... "baby i've only got a... (more) http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/comments?id=143 http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/archive/142.html Sun, 11 Jul 2004 18:10:21 GMT There is no fear and there is no end to this us, this exodus of dreaming. I will approach your heart softly and carefully I will not hurt you Do not be afraid. I know you've been hurt before. So have I... maybe not as many times, but I've been hurt so much I thought my heart would stop frozen in my chest. I've lost myself in the pain and stopped living for months. I have just recently gained that back. I am in control again, and I would never wish that pain on you or anyone. I am at a time in my life where I wish to be careful with my heart and the... (more) http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/comments?id=142 http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/archive/141.html Sat, 10 Jul 2004 23:49:53 GMT Pictures of you litter the landscape of my daydreams, filling the space between phone calls and lunch breaks. When I let my mind wander lately, it always wanders to the same intersection between you and me- a place where we meet on more than one plane and deconstruct our daily lives, stripping away all the bullshit and just loving where we're at. It feels good to be near you, hold you in my arms and smell you- to lie still and listen to your breath- to watch you sleep and just feel safe. I don't know where this might be headed, and maybe the only place it's going is where it's already at.... (more) http://breathethis.blogdrive.com/comments?id=141